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Happy Friday Everyone.

It’s been a long and tiresome week in this household. We have had sickness, grief, confusion, trials and a little bit more. But our family of four youngins and Mr. A and me, I believe are a resilient bunch. We don’t scare easy. We might have had a bad week, but we pick up the pieces and we march on. We try hard not to let the shadows of the past make the present or the future look bleak. God is always in our hearts and we believe he will never burden us with more than we are able to bear.

Here is us marching on. Have a great weekend everyone.

final_Internal Monologue

Most days, I love my life, and I love being me. Yes, I said ‘most days’.

I account my love to the fact that most times there is this monologue going on in my head, that reads off like a script.

Of course the script is that of the fabulous, fun loving but of course flawed ‘me’. This monologue starts as soon as I wake up, going to work, interacting with the kids and well into the night. The only time it takes a break is while I’m reading a good book. Actually even then it says “and she sits down comfortably to read a book”.

Something that will make me sound even more hatter-like is that I often find myself talking TO my monologue. It goes something like this:
“And she asks herself, ‘Are you ok? Are you handling this? Are you feeling alright?“
The loopiness aside, what I was coming to was, being the protagonist of my own amazing script, it is not very often that I need in my life something that someone else does or has. But, of course, there has been moments. Such as these days I would give a leg and an arm to drop down a few sizes in clothes.

Coming back from my tangent again, there was this particular individual, let’s call her a celebrity of sorts, whom I was admittedly remotely jealous of. And last week I saw this YouTube video of her conversing about something silly and it startled me. It startled me because right then I realized that I had been jealous of this image, this person I had built up in my head, who had NOTHING to do with the actual person she was. I try my best not to judge, but it was sort of obvious that she was not the sort my life would have anything to do with.

I think what I am trying to say is, life is hard enough, and filled with obstacles and judgments, even without us wanting to be someone else, doing something else. Happiness is not out there in the world waiting for us to find it; it is within, in the everyday, staring at us at every turn, we JUST have to GRAB it.

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Being in a hospital is hard, for both a patient and the one who visits.
It is the hardest in the waiting room, awaiting news, or when unable to see the patient, someone you care for.

Therefore here is my thoughts on…

Hospital Waiting Room Etiquette

1) Always call ahead. If the immediate family could be too emotional to talk, call someone who is there also, or has already visited, such as extended family or friends, to check if it is appropriate time to go.

2) Once you are there, use common sense to asses the mood of the people in the room. Avoid asking the immediate family about the condition of the patient, unless you know they are getting better. If you really need to know, check with someone from the extended family or friends.

3) If using the phone while in the waiting room,whisper and end the conversation quickly. If not, move out of earshot of the people in the room.

4) Do not work in the waiting room, on the laptop nor on the phone. If the work is too important, it is better not to go to the hospital at all.

5) DO NOT (and this is the biggest one) have idle conversations with others in the waiting room about your kids, weddings, cats or other insignificant and irrelevant topics. It is disrespectful. If someone else initiates one with you, reply curtly and pointedly to let him or her know that you are not interested in talking while there. If you are religious, pray, or read the holy book. If not, respectful silence is a great option.

6) If you are hungry and have been there a while, excuse yourself, eat and come back. Anything more that a cup of tea/coffee and a biscuit is just too much in the waiting room.

7) Give the immediate family ‘space’. Space to grieve, to hope, to think, to get a handle on their emotions. If you do not know them personally, or think you could say or do something that would help, keep a respectful distance and speak as quite as possible.

8) Unless you feel you being there could offer emotional support to the members of the immediate family, try to keep the visit brief. Let them know they are in your thoughts/prayers and leave quietly.

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Life is an unrelenting teacher. One which you can never turn away from and one which tests your strength and faith.

There are days like yesterday, carefree and simple. A routine to be followed, and path to be walked.

And then there are days like today, where a constant thought burdens your mind, and a heaviness settles in your heart. One where you look for distractions, only to realize, that the only way to unburden yourself is to think it through, to think, despair if only for a moment, overcome that despair, accept it and move on.

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
― Haruki Murakami

 

..write long blog posts. I just cant. I was browsing the blogosphere for some inspirations and I came across blog after blog where I could keep on scrolling down to see the end – and there was none. Ok, I might be exaggerating a bit there but Seriously bloggers. It was UnReal.

I had to then question myself, if I really WAS doing it right, am I really asking (or answering) the right questions. Is there some cryptic rule book that is unknown to me, which specifies a minimum word count and a specific structure?

And then I remembered. Wait a second, I couldn’t care a rat’s bottom (I am learning to watch my language with the 6 year old) if there is one. It’s my blog –  to rant, to think, to ask, to answer. It shouldn’t really matter, if my question is 5  or 500 words long.

And so this is me, making my own rules in my own space.

Blog Gyan for the year, DONE!

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This book had me bewildered, confounded and bedazzled. There are some books I read from start to finish in a few hours, and some I have to push through the first few chapters before I start loving it. There are some again that I just don’t understand from start to finish, but I read them, just because I hate leaving a book unfinished MORE than I dislike the book itself. But THIS book left me *dazed*, yes that’s the work I pick, dazed.

I automatically link myself to either the protagonist or one of the main characters of any book I am reading, but in this, I feel detached, like I am a doctor dissecting a cadaver. I feel numb, I feel emotionless.

The fact that I am writing about this book on my blog obviously proves that this book means something to me, resonates somewhere inside me, but I guess what I am trying to say is, for the life of me, I can’t think of what that feeling is.

On the website of this book there is a question I answer now.

What would one piece of advice to your past self be?

It would be to believe. To believe in everything becoming right at the end. To believe that there exists a happy ending. To strengthen the belief in a supreme power, to believe that the happily-ever-after does exist and it is right around the corner.

______________________##____________________

I am book-lover and it is hard for me to review a book, because I am yet to come across the one I imagine I could write better. And so the books I mention on this blog are those I read and those I love.

 

Mon 20

Exhausted

Have I told you about the Wonder Woman is my life? No, I guess not.
The Ms. WW is my life is my PT. After 4 kids my fitness and health is not what it was and I miss that.

On my list of things to do before I turn 30, is to run a marathon, and I seriously need to gain some stamina before I can do that.

Ms. WW motivates me. Reminds me that I am stronger than that stair-master. That it’s all in the head, and that the only thing stopping me from getting healthier is me.

Today was one of those days I really didn’t want to work out. But I did. Because it means something in my life now. I need a day to come, sooner than later, when I am not horizontally generous. Where I can chase the twins to my hearts content without puffing like a choo-choo train.

And I am glad I have made the decision to be healthier and am doing something about it. Now it is just a matter of time. And it doesn’t matter that I have days like today, when I can barely stand on my feet from sheer exhaustion. It means something.

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Photographed by: Lisa Lundqvist

Welcome to my blog and my first blog post. As a mom to three kids and one on the way, I am sure you can imagine that I have some stories to share and a few rants to shout. The first one I think needs to be about where we are in life and what we are looking forward to (and that you will read about) in the coming few months.

Big brother Tigger is finishing his last few days in his current school. Change is always hard, and I am really not sure if he will notice the big change. Of course there are a few advantages. The big one being, he will be in the same school as his cousins. He loves them to bits, and he will welcome any chance he gets to spend time with them.

Pebbles and Bam Bam have finally started to walk. As of this month, they are officially 17 months old. Though they were born premature at 28 weeks, they have done so well and I am incredibly proud of my little miracles.

All three of my babies have been premature, with Tigger born at 33 weeks, and I am sure you can imagine that me being 30 weeks pregnant as of this week has got my family on their toes. I keep on telling them though, that I have a feeling that Little Roo is going for the long haul and is probably going to be the only full term baby I have.

It is official though – my belly walks into a room way before I do. I should probably enjoy this, as it is probably going to be my last few days as a pregnant woman, and of course when I say enjoy, I mean milk it for all it’s worth.

Craving Curly Wurly candy bars today.